


A Little Anxious

by AuthorAlex97 (Sweetie_Curfy)



Series: A Little Anxious [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Crying, Gen, Mentions of Deceit - Freeform, Past Child Abuse, Toddler Virgil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-16 12:27:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14811380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetie_Curfy/pseuds/AuthorAlex97
Summary: Patton is woken up early by one of the Sides knocking on his door. They usually know to let him sleep in, so this alone is unusual. When he opens it to reveal a crying, toddler-sized Virgil, however, he gets the feeling that nothing about today will be normal.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ko-Fi Writing Commissions: https://youtuberswithalex.tumblr.com/post/174389539503/ko-fi-writing-commissions
> 
> SO I started writing this to be an example for the Two-Chapter Commission for the above writing commissions, but this has kind of blown up on Tumblr, so... There might be more than that, eventually? Stay tuned, folks, and I hope yinz enjoy!

Patton was not a fan of waking up early.

Everyone who came to the mindscape was always surprised to hear that. _He’s the father figure figment!,_ they would say. _He’s supposed to wake up early and make everyone family breakfasts, right?_ Well, sure, he would love to be the one flipping those pancakes and frying those eggs, but Parks and Rec called to him every night, begging him to watch an episode or two or twelve… It usually ended with Patton looking at the clock and discovering it was three am, just a couple of hours before the others would wake up and start getting ready for the day.

So, no, Patton was a late sleeper. The other sides were well aware of this and would leave him be until he got a proper amount of sleep.

Which was why, when he awoke to frantic knocking on his door at 7:30 in the morning, his first instinct was to be a little grumpy.

Patton groaned, rolling over and pulling the blankets over his head. “What…?”

There was no answer. He sighed, hoping whoever it was had gone away, and let the world drift away again.

More knocking sounded, heavier than before.

Patton huffed.

When whoever it was knocked a third time, he sat up and threw the covers off of him.

“Fine! I’m up! I’m coming!”

He fumbled around his bedside table until he found his glasses; as soon as they were on his face, he stood and stumbled towards the door.

“I swear to all things good in this world, Roman, if you’re trying to show me another improved spider you’ve created before I’ve had any coffee, I—”

He swung the door open. The grumbling fell silent in his mouth.

He blinked.

Virgil stood in front of him, trembling and tearful, but he was… _tiny._ Most of his clothes matched his size, but his jacket was nearly twice as big as he was, causing him to be swimming in the fabric. Little hands covered his little mouth as big tears dripped down his pudgy cheeks. A sob squeaked out of him; he lifted his arms towards Patton.

“Daddy…!”

Patton was definitely awake now.

He dropped to his knees and held out his arms, to which Virgil ran forward and dove into. He buried his face in Patton’s night shirt as he cried. Patton held him tight and rubbed his back, gently shushing him.

“Aw, kiddo… What happened?” he asked.

“T-Thomas had a bad dream!” Virgil sobbed. “Joan and Ta-Talyn got hurt and—and we couldn’t help them, and they were mad at us…! And now he’s scared and it made me small and I-I can’t do anything!”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m sure they’re okay,” Patton said.

Whimpering, Virgil tucked himself further into him and coughed. “I don’t want to be little again, Daddy!”

“Shh, Virgil… This has happened before?”

“Mm-hm, when—when I was still not with you guys,” he explained, “’nd when I was bad.”

“Oh, you were never bad, kiddo! Just… A little misguided, is all.”

Virgil shook his head. “I was bad! I made Thomas scared, ‘nd that makes me small. ‘M not supposed to make him scared! D said he doesn’t like me when I do that!”

Anger bubbled up in Patton’s gut, but he shoved it to the side, forcing his focus to stay on the crying child in his arms. “D says a lot of things that aren’t true, Virge,” he reassured. “Thomas could never dislike you.”

“B-But what if he does?!”

“He doesn’t. I swear it on the Glow Worm’s lights.”

“But what if he starts ‘cause I can’t stop scaring him?!”

Patton sighed. He adjusted his grip on Virgil and stood, resting him so that his head was on his shoulder. “You know who _really_ knows all the answers to these?”

Sniffling, Virgil shifted his head and peeked at Patton. “W-Who?”

“Logan! He’s a teacher; he knows everything!” Patton walked them over to the bed, using his foot to shut the door behind them. He set Virgil on top of the blankets and gently pried his grip off. “Let me put on some pants, and then we’ll go talk to him, okay? I think that’ll calm you right down!”

Virgil reached for him, but Patton simply ruffled his hair before heading towards his dresser.

Something told him that it was going to be a very long day.

* * *

It was 7:45 by the time Patton carried Virgil down to the kitchen—earlier than he’d been up in a very long time. He could hear eggs sizzling and soft humming, and, much to his relief, the coffee pot bubbling. It took all that he had to not just run in and pour the caffeine down his throat.

They were just outside the door when Virgil whimpered and tightened his grip on Patton’s cardigan. Biting back a sigh, he stopped and turned his focus to the big, brown eyes staring at him.

“What’s wrong?” he gently asked.

“Logan’s gonna be mad,” Virgil whispered.

Patton frowned. “Why’s that?”

“’Cause I’m not supposed to do this,” he replied. “D said so. Lo’s gonna think it’s dumb ‘nd make me try to change back.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s true,” Patton said. “He might be a little confused, and maybe curious, but he wouldn’t be upset. He would never get mad at you over something you can’t control, Virgil.”

Virgil’s lower lip stuck out, and he looked to the floor. “D says that I can if I really try,” he mumbled. “I’m just not trying hard enough.”

Heartbreak mixed with the anger. Patton shook himself out of it and headed into the kitchen.

Humming some bouncy tune, Logan stood at the stove, poking at the pan with the rubber spatula in his hands. His head bobbed a bit to his own music. Occasionally, he would reach over to take a sip from the mug that sat near the coffee maker. It didn’t seem that he’d noticed the other two sides sneaking into the kitchen.

Virgil buried his face in Patton’s shoulder, who rubbed his back and raised an eyebrow at the Logical side.

“Um… Logan?”

Logan jumped, whirling around as a hand flew to his chest. “Patton!” he said. “You’re up significantly earlier than…”

The words died in his mouth as his eyes drifted to the child in Patton’s arms. His brow furrowed.

“What on earth…?”

Logan turned off the burner and dropped the spatula onto the counter, hurrying forward to inspect the situation. Patton readjusted his grip on Virgil just as the child let out a soft whimper.

Adjusting his glasses, Logan blinked and looked at Patton. “Is this… Virgil?”

Patton nodded. “Thomas had a nightmare, and apparently it caused this to happen. He said it used to happen all the time before he joined the family.”

“Fascinating…”

Virgil lifted his head just enough to peek at Logan; as soon as he realized Logan was looking back, he tucked his face right back into Patton’s shoulder. Logan frowned.

Patton leaned towards Logan’s ear. “He’s worried that you’ll be mad,” he whispered.

“There’s no cause for anger over this,” Logan stated, making sure his voice was loud enough for Virgil to hear. “Age regression, while it may be uncommon, is not a coping mechanism unheard of. It usually arises during times of high stress, and depending on the nightmare Thomas endured, it could very well have been too much to handle at one time. Speaking of, what was the nightmare?”

“Joan and Talyn got hurt.”

Logan nodded. “For Thomas, that does indeed seem like a logical cause to be frightened. I assure you, Virgil, I’m not upset in any way. You have no reason to fret.”

“See, kiddo? I told you he wouldn’t be mad!” Patton said.

Virgil sniffled, burying his face further. He shook his head.

“Have I… Given you reason to disbelieve me?” Logan carefully asked.

“D said I’m being stupid.”

Patton let out a quiet sigh; his eyes drifted to the coffee maker. A frown etched onto Logan’s face, and he held his arms out to take Virgil. When Patton attempted to pass him over, he clung to his cardigan, shaking like a leaf. Patton carefully pried him off and put a hand on Virgil’s cheek once he was secure in Logan’s arms.

“Just for a minute,” he promised. “I’m just going to get some coffee. Logan’s not going to hurt you.”

He pressed a kiss on his forehead before he walked off; Virgil whimpered and reached for him. Rubbing his back, Logan sat in one of the chairs at the kitchen table and moved Virgil to sit in his lap. Virgil stared up with watery eyes, and Logan’s frown deepened.

“Virgil, does being in this state affect what you know about the world?” he asked.

Virgil’s hands lifted, and he took one of the big sleeves of the jacket into his mouth. Without making eye contact, he nodded slowly.

“Do you know what Deceit represents?”

He shook his head.

“Do you know what the word ‘deceive’ means?”

A tear dripped down his cheek. He shook his head again. Logan gently wiped it away with the pad of his thumb before continuing.

“To deceive someone is to tell them something that isn’t true, or make them believe in a falsehood,” Logan explained. “In short, it’s another word for lying. That’s what Deceit represents. The majority of the things he says is not a reliable source of information. You are not stupid, and you shouldn’t believe the things he’s told you. Age regression is nothing to be ashamed of. Do you understand?”

Sniffling, Virgil squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. “Yeffir.”

Logan reached down and tugged the sleeve out of his mouth. “Just ‘Logan’ is fine.”

Virgil was still for a moment; Logan waited patiently for a response.

After another beat or two, the child slowly shifted and curled into Logan’s stomach. He trembled against him so fiercely that Logan feared he was going to fall off of his lap. Gently, he wrapped his arms around him and held him close.

Logan smiled.

Patton sat at the table, half empty coffee mug in hand and familiar warm smile settled on his face again. As soon as he set the mug down, Virgil looked up; he squirmed to crawl out of Logan’s lap, and Patton opened his arms for him to climb into. Once he was settled, he gave him a little hug and smiled down at him.

“Feeling better now, son?” he asked.

Virgil shrugged, keeping his eyes low as he leaned into Patton’s touch. Patton rubbed his arm and reached for his coffee.

Logan raised an eyebrow. “It would seem _you_ certainly are, now that you have your coffee, Patton.”

“Eh, what can I say? Caffeine makes me a caff-fun guy!”

A small smile twitched onto Virgil’s face as Logan let out a groan. He pushed himself to his feet and headed back to the stove.

“Patton, please. It’s too early for this,” he sighed.

Taking a sip of his coffee, Patton hummed. “Are you _mourning_ your pun-less mornings?”

“Patton.”

“Do you want a re-pun-d?”

“ _Patton_.”

Virgil let out a tiny giggle, immediately throwing his hands over his mouth when Patton looked down at him.

A grin split across his face. He ruffled Virgil’s hair with a laugh.

“Aw, kiddo! Looks like you’ve still got a great sense of humor!”

Logan shook his head, picking the spatula up as he turned the burner back on. “On a more serious topic, I believe it would be important to inform Thomas of this… development. Perhaps when he calms down, Virgil, you’ll grow back to your normal size. Is that a safe assumption to make?”

Virgil’s head dropped against Patton’s chest. “Mm-hm.”

“In that case, Patton, you and I can go to talk to him after breakfast,” Logan stated. “That is, of course, assuming he’ll be awake by then…”

Humming, Patton looked at Virgil. “You want to spend some time with Roman today? I hear he’s great at playing. You two can slay a dragon together!”

Virgil nibbled on his sleeve. “But I wanna stay with you…”

“It shouldn’t take us very long. I doubt you’ll be separated for any longer than an hour, really,” Logan said.

“And when we get back, we can spend the whole rest of the day together!” Patton suggested. “Just you and me! We can watch movies, and color, and bake… What do you say, son?”

Virgil frowned and hung his head, but nodded anyway. Patton planted a kiss in his hair before ruffling it again.

“Then it’s settled,” Logan said. “Now, what would you two like for breakfast?”

As Patton and Logan began to talk, Virgil snuggled close to Patton and gripped onto his shirt. Maybe, just maybe, if he clung hard enough, he wouldn’t have to go. Maybe he wouldn’t have to let go of the only person who could make him feel safe right now.

Holding back tears, Virgil resolved that he wouldn’t let go, no matter how hard the others tried to make him.

He was _not_ spending today both little _and_ afraid.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After deciding it would be best to talk to Thomas, Logan and Patton leave Toddler Virgil with Roman for a bit. Virgil isn’t happy about it.

As it turned out, staying with Patton all day no matter what the cost turned out to be easier said than done.

Breakfast had come and gone in a snap. Logan made Virgil his favorite waffles, ones with little chunks of strawberries and chocolate chips in them, which was special since Logan usually deemed them too unhealthy to start the day with. Normally, Virgil would have called him out for pitying him, but he was too excited about them to even notice. He had happily munched them away as he sat in Patton’s lap.

He’d completely forgotten that Patton and Logan were going to leave soon. So, when they’d brought him to Roman’s room and explained the situation, things got a little out of hand.

Virgil reached as far as he could towards Patton, sob slipping out of his mouth. “Daddy, ple-e-ease!”

“Buddy, we _have_ to,” Patton sighed. “It’ll only be for a little while. You and Roman will have fun!”

“Yes, you little king!” Roman exclaimed. He readjusted his hold on Virgil again in an attempt to keep him balanced on his hip. “We can do whatever you’d like! Fight a dragon, go on a quest, meet an old wizard— anything you desire!”

Logan shot him a pointed look. “As long as you’re keeping it age appropriate…”

Roman waved him off, bouncing Virgil a bit; his cries only grew as he squirmed to try to get down.

“I want to stay with Daddy!” he wailed.

Letting out a soft sigh, Patton walked over and ran a hand through Virgil’s hair. “Kiddo, I _know_ you do. But you can’t come to talk to Thomas with us. We’re worried he’ll panic, and that’ll make you small like this for even longer. You don’t want to stay like this any longer than you have to, do you?”

Virgil whimpered and leaned over to put his head on Patton’s shoulder. He grabbed onto his cardigan and sobbed.

“Don’t leave!”

Patton let out a breath and kissed the top of his head before he gently pried Virgil off and stepped back. “I’m really sorry about this, Roman…”

“You have nothing to fear, Patton!” Roman said. “We’ll get this little guy right as rain in no time, right, Virge?”

The toddler let out a gasping sob; Patton frowned, but nodded his head regardless.

“Okay. I trust you,” he stated. “Virgil, you be good for Roman, okay?”

“No…!”

“Virgil…”

Logan laid a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “He’ll be fine,” he reassured. “The sooner we talk to Thomas, the sooner he’ll be back to normal.”

Patton took a deep breath and nodded; he shot one last smile at Virgil.

“Love you, kiddo. We’ll be back soon.”

He sunk out. Logan raised his eyebrows at Roman.

“Good luck.”

A second later, they were alone. Virgil reached towards the spot Patton had disappeared.

“Daddy…?”

Roman shifted him and rubbed his back. “They’ll be back before you know it, Little Man.”

A new wave of sobs started to burst out of Virgil; Roman was about to hold back a sigh when he whirled around and buried his little face in his sash. One of his tiny arms wrapped around Roman’s neck while the other clung to his shirt.

“I- I- I want Daddy!” Virgil wailed.

“Oh, Virgil…”

Roman carried him to his bed and sat on the edge, holding the child tight in his arms as he hiccuped and cried. He did what he could to calm him down—rubbed his back, rocked him back and forth, hummed soft Disney tunes in his ear –but it was starting to seem like nothing but Patton’s presence would get Virgil to stop crying.

When his sobs began to dissolve into violent coughing, Roman had had enough.

“Virgil, sweetheart,” he said, “You need to calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

Shaking his head, Virgil let out a hiccup that was followed by a cough. “I want my daddy…”

“I understand that, and I’m sorry he can’t be here right now,” Roman sighed. He pried Virgil away and sat him on his lap, chewing on the inside of his lip when he saw fat tears rolling out of his already puffy eyes. “Crying until you throw up isn’t going to bring him back any sooner, though. You’re just going to make yourself sad. I don’t know about you, but I _hate_ being sad. Don’t you?”

Virgil whimpered and nodded. He sucked in a shuddering gasp.

“How about we take a deep breath and get you some water? Does that sound good?”

Virgil nodded again, and Roman gave him a soft smile.

“Do you remember your 4-7-8 exercise? Let’s try that,” he suggested.

It took a few tries before they were successful, but after a few minutes, Virgil had been reduced to sniffles and silence. He trembled as if there was no tomorrow. Roman pulled him against his chest, and Virgil clung.

“Do you feel any better?” he quietly asked.

“Mm-hm,” Virgil squeaked.

Roman conjured a bottle of water, helping the child take a few sips as soon as it was open. Virgil sniffled and put his sleeve into his mouth as he looked to the plush, white carpet. Setting the bottle to the side, Roman made a handkerchief and wiped the tears away.

“Now,” he said, “What would you like to do in our remaining time together? Would you like to stay here,” –he pointed to the floor, “—or go somewhere else?” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

He stared at Roman’s hand for a beat, and then he balled his fist under his jacket and raised it near his shoulder.

“Would you like to go to the commons, or into my realm?”

Roman pointed at his bedroom door and his closet door respectively. Virgil’s eyes flicked between the two until he hesitantly pointed to the closet door. Nodding, Roman climbed to his feet and carefully placed Virgil on the floor.

“Excellent choice, Brave Sir!” he exclaimed. “We can go on a walk! I know just the place not too far off from here that I’m sure you’ll love!”

With a snap of his fingers, the edges around the closet door began to emit a golden glow; Virgil whimpered and clung to Roman’s leg. He reached down and pushed his hair out of his face, offering a warm smile.

“There’s nothing to fear,” he said. “It’s just moving to where we need to go. It can’t hurt you.”

Gently, he pulled his leg out of Virgil’s grip and took him by the hand, leading him to the door. He then let go to turn the knob and push it open to reveal what awaited them.

Roman grinned.

A dark, ominous forest loomed before them, with trees as bare as bones and a sky as dark as the night. The howling wind knocked branches against each other, and their bone-chilling clacks echoed through the air. Bats screeched as they flew over the dirt path; something hidden in the darkness let out a low growl.

With a sigh of satisfaction, Roman began to turn to look at Virgil. “See? This forest is right up your dark and sinister…”

The words froze in his throat.

Virgil was gone.

“Virgil?!” he called, snapping his gaze up to search the room. “Virgil, where did you go?!”

There was no sight of the toddler anywhere. Cursing under his breath, Roman took a single step into the forest and whirled his head around. By the gods, there were so many places here a child could hide!

“ _Virgil!_ ” he yelled.

Nothing.

His heart thundered beneath his sash. “Patton’s gonna kill me,” he whispered.

Just as he was about to take off sprinting, a little squeak from his room reached his ears. Roman froze for a beat before he stepped back onto carpet and strained to listen.

Another squeak sounded from under his bed, followed by a sniffle. Relief flooded Roman’s entire being.

Quietly, he shut the closet door before heading towards the noises. He got onto his hands and knees to peer under the bed frame.

Virgil lay on his stomach, mouth formed into a grimace and tiny hands poking out of his sleeves to cover his eyes. Tears slipped out from the cracks between his fingers. His tiny body wracked with shivers, and they intensified with every sob.

Roman sat up and shut his eyes, biting back a groan. _Just_ when he thought he’d gotten him to stop crying…

Instead of letting his frustration show, he got onto his stomach and slid across the carpet to come face to face with the toddler. He folded his arms in front of him and moved to rest his chin on top; when the top of his head collided with the frame, he settled for resting his nose on them instead.

He watched Virgil for a beat, trying to figure out what he could say to prevent the situation from getting any worse. “Did I frighten you?”

Virgil sniffled and shook his head.

“Did the forest?”

Virgil shook his head again, but with a heavy dose of hesitation this time. Roman frowned and reached out to touch his arm; when he flinched at the contact, his brow furrowed.

“Virgil, I’m terribly sorry,” he uttered. “I should have known that your interests as an adult would differ from your interests as you are now. I messed up, and this is on me. You have every right to be upset. I offer you the humblest of apologies.”

A little sob wrenched out of Virgil’s throat, but he said nothing otherwise. He pulled away from Roman’s touch and scooted a few inches away. Roman tucked his arm back under himself.

“You’re allowed to be scared. You know that, don’t you?” he continued. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just, please, let us know when you are. If something frightens you, you can come to me, or Patton, or even Logan. Don’t try to hide it, okay? We’ll do whatever we can to help you.”

Letting out a whimper, Virgil shook his head frantically. “’M sorry,” he squeaked.

“What for?”

He sniffled. “’M not supposed to hide,” he whispered. “’Nd I’m not supposed to cry, or get scared, I’m sorry, please don’t be mad, please don’t yell at me, I’m sorry—!”

“Whoa, whoa!” Roman interrupted. He inched forward. “Virgil, I’m not going to yell at you! You are more than allowed to feel however you need to! Crying is okay, too! Hiding… well, I’d prefer if you didn’t—you gave me quite the scare when I turned around and you were gone –but I understand that you were afraid and didn’t know where to turn. I would never yell at you like that, Little Storm. Please, please try to believe me on that.”

Virgil peered through his fingers, and Roman offered out a hand; he stared at it for a beat before squeezing his eyes shut and burying his face in the carpet.

“P-Please don’t send me back to D!” he hiccuped.

“Never,” Roman firmly stated. He reached out and pulled one of Virgil’s hands into his own, giving it a light squeeze. “We would never, ever do such a thing.”

Hesitantly, he lifted his head, scanning Roman’s face through his bangs for any signs of trickery or deception. Roman stared back with a soft smile and did his best to hold it.

Finally, after a long moment, Virgil crawled forward and tucked himself under Roman’s arm. He pressed his face into the crook of his neck and gripped his shirt with his free hand.

“Please don’t let him take me back,” he whispered.

Roman dropped his hand to wrap his arm around him. “I will make it my sole mission to keep you safe.”

Virgil gripped him tighter.

When Patton and Logan would return, they would be greeted with silence and the sight of Roman’s lower half sticking out from under his bed. There would be worry that something had gone wrong, that calming Thomas hadn’t been enough and a little Virgil was still running around the mindscape by himself, until they looked under the bed to find two adult sides holding each other as they slept. After they woke, there would be stammered apologies and denials, and soft looks that were returned with embarrassed, sarcastic remarks.

For now, though, there was safety. There was comfort. There was love.

Virgil let his eyes fall shut and the world drift away.

**Author's Note:**

> (youtuberswithalex.tumblr.com)


End file.
